


Down the Mountain

by Emariya92



Category: The Witcher (TV)
Genre: 1x06 Fix it, Angry Jaskier | Dandelion, Angst, Badly, Emotionally Constipated Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia Apologizes, Insecurity, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-31
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:20:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26204824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emariya92/pseuds/Emariya92
Summary: Yes, Geralt insulted him a lot, but he was always joking right? At least that was what Jaskier thought… Before. But now? Every time that Geralt had “jokingly” told him to shut up, told him to stop singing, to stop asking questions, to stop pestering him; he wasn’t joking was he?It doesn’t really matter now does it?
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Comments: 18
Kudos: 329





	Down the Mountain

“See you around, Geralt.”

Jaskier hesitates a moment, still holding on to that small bit of hope that Geralt will take it back. That he’d say he didn’t actually mean any of the horrible things that he had just screamed in Jaskier’s face. 

He didn’t. 

The pain in his chest is almost unbearable as Jaskier finally turns and starts the long trek down the mountain. Is he really that annoying? Did Geralt really hate him? Yes, Geralt insulted him a lot, but he was always joking right? At least that was what Jaskier thought… Before. But now? Every time that Geralt had “jokingly” told him to shut up, told him to stop singing, to stop asking questions, to stop pestering him; he wasn’t joking was he?

No, no that’s not right. Geralt would have left him years ago if that was true. So why didn’t he? If Jaskier was truly this awful burden then why didn’t Geralt just abandon him while he slept one night? Or avoid him when they usually meet up in the spring after Geralt winters at Kaer Morhen? If he truly didn’t want to have Jaskier accompanying him then he could have easily gone the opposite direction. 

Though Jaskier probably would have found him anyway. Maybe Geralt just didn’t want to hurt his feelings before? And it all just kind of exploded at once after two decades of suffering through having Jaskier around. That makes sense, somewhat anyway. 

It doesn’t really matter now does it? 

Jaskier doesn’t know how long he had been walking, but judging by the burning of his legs and the blisters on his feet that he is just now noticing it’s been awhile. The sun is much lower in the sky than he remembers it being. He should probably find a place to camp for the night; he vaguely remembers passing the clearing that they camped in last night during his deep musing. He could probably turn back and make it back there before dark, but the thought of bumping into Geralt has him dismissing that thought immediately. So onward it is then.

The thought of making camp reminds him that all he has with him is his lute. No food or water, not even a bedroll. Wonderfull. Still, going to sleep hungry, thirsty and on the hard ground is preferable to seeing Geralt. Geralt and his stupidly handsome face. That Jaskier definitely did not want to kiss. Well, not anymore at least. 

Jaskier felt his face grow hot with shame with that last thought. How could he waste so many of his very limited years pining after a man who fucking despises him? Is he really that pathetic? He knows Geralt’s disinterest was not because Jaskier is a man, oh no, Jaskier has traveled with Geralt long enough to know that Geralt has no qualms with sleeping around with both men and women. Which means that Jaskier was the problem. As always. It really shouldn’t be a surprise, Geralt had made it abundantly clear that he was not interested in Jaskier’s friendship, so why would he ever consider Jaskier to be his lover? 

The laugh Jaskier huffed out can only be described as self pitying, really just a hard wet breathe more than a laugh. The sun has sunk lower in the sky; Jaskier looks around him and spots a small clearing not too far from the path he is walking and deems it good enough. He’s really starting to feel how worn his legs and feet are, there isn’t much of a chance that he’ll get much farther in his current state. 

He more limps than walks the length from the path to the clearing, collapsing once he reaches his destination. It’s chilly tonight, but he just cannot find the will to care or the strength needed to build a fire. He’s just so tired. So very, very tired.

.  
.  
.

Who the fuck has the fucking audacity to try and wake him up right fucking now? It is the middle of the fucking night what kind of cunt-

Jaskier shrieks (a very manly shriek) and lashes out at the shadowy figure in front of him. The shadow catches his arms in a firm grip, saying Jaskier’s name in an all too familiar growling voice.

“Geralt?” Jaskier is very confused. Geralt told him to get lost, so he did. Did he not go far enough?

“Jaskier,” Geralt sounds weird, if Jaskier didn’t know better he would say that Geralt sounded concerned. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Ah, no. Just the usual anger.

“Sleeping. Or I was at least, until some terribly rude brute just interrupted the most lovely of dreams.” Jaskier didn’t have to fake the annoyance in his voice, the dream bit may have been a lie but he is fucking tired. “I am so terribly sorry if I have further inconvenienced you in some way. Now if you would kindly let me go back to sleep I’ll be out of your hair in the morning,” With that, Jaskier rolled onto his other side away from Geralt with the full intention of going back to sleep.

“Jaskier,” Geralt sounds strained, “You’re shivering. Why didn’t you build a fire?”

“I was tired,” The excuse is weak, Jaskier knows. Geralt’s answering sigh says that he agrees. But he says nothing, Jaskier hears him stand and walk away. Jaskier thinks that will be the last he will see or hear from Geralt and resigns himself to that thought. Right before he feels a blanket of some sort draped over him. 

Jaskier’s eyes snap open, confusion and suspicion whirling around in his brain as he tries to figure out what the fuck Geralt is doing. He can hear quiet steps and what he assumes is branches breaking, it’s too dark for him to see anything so he doesn’t bother sitting up. Not too much time passes before the steps are coming towards him, stopping probably four feet or so from where Jaskier is laying and from the sound Jaskier is guessing that Geralt sat down (or kneeled) there. There’s some more branch breaking sounds and soon the crackling of a growing fire. 

Hearing the fire has Jaskier realizing just how hard his body is shaking, so he swallows his already broken pride and sits up to scoot closer to the fire.

“You didn’t have to do that,” Jaskier murmurs almost to himself. He knows Geralt can hear him.

“You were cold,” Jaskier hasn’t looked at Geralt yet, and he doesn’t really want to, but uncertainty is not something he has heard in Geralt’s voice before. 

“Why do you care?” He means it to sound angry, but it comes out more broken than intended. “You made it very clear that you want nothing more than to never see me again. I left like you asked- well asked isn’t the right word I guess, but I obliged your wishes. Gave you your one blessing. So, what else do you want from me, Geralt?” Jaskier fought against the burning in his eyes as he looked into Geralt’s.

“Jaskier, I-” Geralt trails off, head bowing as his brow furrowed and his fists clenched where they rested on his legs. Then all of the sudden he breathed a broken sounding sigh, relaxed his hands and met Jaskier’s gaze. “I needed to know that you were safe. When I reached last night's campsite and saw that you weren’t there I worried that something may have happened.”

Jaskier wants to let the hope blooming in him be, but he knew that Geralt checking on him didn’t really mean anything. For all of his flaws, Geralt is a good man. He wouldn’t just leave someone to possibly die up on this horrid mountain, even if that someone is Jaskier.

Jaskier unconsciously pulls what he now realizes is Geralt’s cloak tighter around his shoulders, “Thank you,” Jaskier whispers the gratitude as he feels the shakes wracking his whole body calm into quiet shivers. He doesn’t know what else to say, if he should say something else. Should he leave? No, he was here first. Geralt should be the one to go. But Geralt built the fire, it would be rude to shoo him away after that. And Geralt didn’t seem to be claiming his cloak at the moment, so maybe he meant for them to spend the night together? 

It doesn’t matter, Jaskier is too tired to really care anyway.

“Goodnight, Geralt,” Jaskier turns so his back is to Geralt and lays down again. He probably imagined it, but he thought he heard Geralt say something before falling asleep.

.  
.  
.

The wonderful smell of cooked meat is what finally pulls him from sleep, that and the horrible ache that has settled in his stomach as he realizes that he has not eaten anything since the night before last. Jaskier sits up and tries not to look too longingly at the two rabbits that Geralt is roasting over the fire. That’s Geralt’s food, he caught it, Jaskier has no right to ask for any. 

Geralt catches Jaskier’s eyes and smiles at him. It’s a small, unsure smile, but a smile. “Goodmorning,” He sounds less growly, at least.

Jaskier just hums at him, and his lips twitch up at the unintentional role reversal. He sighs then, as he reaches for the cloak that had slipped from his shoulders and stands to return it to Geralt. Geralt doesn’t reach to take it.

“Keep it. You’re human, you need it more than I do,” Jaskier couldn’t keep the surprise from his face, but he really couldn’t fault Geralt’s logic. It looks like it will rain, and he would rather not be soaked to the bone.

“Thank you,” Jaskier pulls the cloak around his shoulders and walks over to his lute. “For the cloak and the fire, I’ll get out of your way now.” 

“Wait! Stay for breakfast at least,” Geralt looks at him pleadingly, “Please, Jaskier.” 

Jaskier is never going to be able to get this look of shock from his face. First the cloak, now Geralt says the word ‘please’? Jaskier didn’t know that Geralt knew what that word meant. Jaskier really wants to be petty and refuse, but he really is hungry.

He nods, and the shock continues as Geralt fucking smiles at him again. Two smiles in one day? That has to be a new record. Jaskier sits down by the fire again, directly across from Geralt. Geralt hands him one of the rabbits and skin of water before settling down to eat his own breakfast. Jaskier accepts the gifts of food and water gratefully.

They eat in an uncomfortable silence, Jaskier would usually fix that but given the circumstances he doesn’t feel that Geralt deserves to be comfortable. He may have built Jaskier a fire and fed him, but that does not erase what Geralt said to him at the top of the mountain yesterday. Maybe Jaskier is at fault for being annoying, but Geralt is the one that sought him out this time. Jaskier takes pleasure in the way Geralt keeps glancing at him, only to partially open his mouth before snapping it closed and looking away.

Though after a few minutes it starts to grow rather irritating.

“Spit it out, Geralt.”

Geralt looks even more uncomfortable if that’s possible.

“Jaksier,” Geralt trails off.

“Yes, that is my name.”

Geralt glares at him before trying again.

“Jaskier,” The glare fades away, “I’m sorry.”

Jaskier waits for the rest of the apology. It doesn’t come. Jaskier raises an eyebrow at Geralt, and there’s that glare again. But no more words. Anger and insecurity war inside of Jaskier, have been since Geralt decided to use Jaskier as his verbal punching bag. Anger wins this battle.

“You’re sorry? Really. That’s all I get? What exactly are you sorry for Geralt? I just don’t understand. I’ve followed you to the end of the world and back, stood by you and stood up for you when stupid people treated you badly, literally singing your praises in town after town to help your reputation, and I did help. Before we met you were the butcher, a murderer, worse than the monsters you are hired to kill. Thanks to me you’re a hero. And I guess that’s what your shit apology is about right? You’re afraid I’ll take it all away, write some new songs that put you in a different light. Well, no worries there Geralt, I have no desire to make your life any more difficult. So now that that is settled I guess I’ll be on my way. Oh, and by the way, the djinn was hardly entirely my fault. You’re the witcher Geralt, you definitely should have known better than to seek out a fucking djinn instead of just taking a godsdamned nap.”

Jaskier stood as the first drops of rain started to fall. He didn’t so much as glance at Geralt as he picked up his lute and started towards the path down the mountain. He only made it a few feet from the clearing before a hand grabbed him roughly and pulled him to a stop. He tried to pull out of Geralt’s grasp, but Geralt just tightened his grip.

“Let go.” 

“No.”

“What the fuck Geralt? You want me gone, I’m fucking going so what do you want from me?”

“I don’t want you to leave. I said I’m fucking sorry, okay? I didn’t mean what I said, I know you aren’t the reason bad things happen to me. I was just angry about Yennefer and I took it out on you. I’m sorry, Jaskier. Please, give me a chance to make it up to you.”

Geralt’s grip on his arm was too tight, he was standing too close, but when Jaskier tried to pull away this time Geralt released him. Jaskier sees the pain and fear in Geralt’s eyes and wants to both scream at him and hug him.

“You want to make up for the last two decades? I’m not really sure that that’s possible Geralt. Yesterday may have been your breaking point, but it was also mine. Maybe I’m tired of following a man that despises me and pretending that it doesn’t bother me. Would it really have been that difficult for you to just, oh I don’t know, be less than horribly mean to me most of the time? I’ll admit we have had some good times over the years, but they certainly don’t outweigh all the insults and one sided conversations.”

The rain is coming down harder now as Jaskier pulls the cloak’s hood over his head. “I care for you, you horse’s arse, though I have no fucking clue why. You’ve said maybe a handful of nice things to me over our twenty years of traveling together. I really can’t believe I stuck by you for so long, I’ve wasted so many fucking years…” Why had he stayed? He had longed for adventure, for a muse, but it was not worth the treatment he’s endured for so long.

Geralt is still staring at him, but doesn’t seem to actually see him. Jaskier sees him shake his head slightly before focusing back on Jaskier.

“Jask, I’m sorry,” Geralt’s frustration is evident as he struggles to find his words. “I was cruel to you, I didn’t realize how badly I had treated you. I like having you around, I do. Most of the time when I insulted you, or told you to stop talking, it was a really bad attempt at joking. I actually like listening to you sing,” At Jaskier’s incredulous look Geralt hurriedly added, “I do! I’ll admit there are some songs that I don’t particularly care for, specifically that one about tossing coins,” Geralt smiles at that, and Jaskier can’t help the slight twitch of his lips at seeing that smile for the third time that day.

“I like the way you can just talk and talk about anything and everything. I actually find it rather amusing when you make up those silly songs about either how grumpy I am or some mundane chore that you need to make more interesting for yourself. I like the way you sneak Roach sugar cubes when you think I can’t see you. Your scathing comments; the way you light up when you’re performing. How ridiculously defensive you get when some ignorant asshat insults me, like you’re trying to defend my honor or something,” Another smile, bright and beautiful, something Jaskier never thought would be directed at him.

The anger inside of Jaskier is fading faster than he would like. He’s still upset, but hearing Geralt actually use his words is helping. But still… 

“I need some time to think Geralt, I’m not ready, nor am I sure that I want things to go back to the way they were-”

“No, not the way they were. I don’t want that. I don’t want to lose you Jaskier, but I don’t want to be the reason that you’re unhappy either. I’ve wasted enough of your years, haven’t I?” Jaskier doesn’t like this smile as much, it’s too small and sad. “Let me escort you down the mountain? I’ll take you wherever you want to go, and I’ll leave you be, if that is what you want. Please.”

It would take another day or so to get down the mountain, it would be a lot easier and safer with Geralt with him. And it would give them time to work through some things. And Jaskier does want to try. He may be angry but Geralt seems genuinely sorry, and maybe things can be better,

“Okay,” Jaskier gives Geralt a small smile, which Geralt returns with a relieved sigh.

“Thank you,” Geralt reaches out then, resting a gentle hand on his arm. They’re both soaked, Jaskier at least has the cloak to protect him but he is still very wet. But at that moment, the rain didn't really matter.

.  
.  
.

They trudge through the rain in a companionable silence. The rain has really fucked the path they are on, and Jaskier slips more than a few times, but Geralt always catches him before he can fall. Jaskier thanks him with a shy smile that Geralt returns each time. They walk close enough that their arms brush against each other occasionally, but neither of them seem inclined to create any distance. 

The rain hasn’t let up at all during the hours they have spent walking, so when Geralt suggests they wait the storm out in the small cave that he spotted off the path Jaskier readily agrees. 

Once he’s under the roof of the cave Jaskier takes off his soaked cloak and squeezes the excess water off of it. Geralt drops his things inside of the cave and starts undoing the buckles on his armor. Jaskier drapes the cloak over a rock to dry and goes around Geralt’s back to get the harder to reach buckles for him.

“Thank you,” Geralt smiles at him again over his shoulder as he lifts the leather over his head and sets it on the ground. 

Jaskier tries to rub some warmth into his arms, which the wet clothes aren’t really helping much. He’s looking around the small cave as Geralt’s hand lands on his shoulder.

“You should probably take that off,” Geralt gestures to Jaskier’s shirt. Jaskier nods and removes the shirt, walking over to his cloak to lay the shirt out alongside it. When Jaskier turns around he hits a wall.

“What is that?” Geralt grabs his elbow while his other hand hovers over the hand shaped bruise on his upper arm. Jaskier tries to think, because he really doesn’t know, but Geralt is speaking before he can even try to remember. “I did that, didn’t I?” He sounds upset, which is ridiculous, it’s just a bruise it doesn’t even hurt.

“It’s not a big deal Geralt, it doesn’t even hurt,”

“I hurt you,” Geralt stops his hovering and gently brushes his fingers over the bruise. Jaskier barely contains a shiver.

“Barely. It’s not a big deal, I promise,” Jaskier smiles up at Geralt and covers the hand still idly stroking his arm. Geralt seems to relax slightly, before he averts his eyes from Jaskier.

“But I’ve hurt you before. The day we met. I hit you,” Geralt has trouble getting the sentence out, Jaskier can tell. Jaskier uses the hand not on Geralt’s to rest lightly on Geralt’s jaw, bringing his eyes back to Jaskier’s.

“That was twenty years ago Geralt, and you may have been an ass to me since that day, but you haven’t hit me again. And I haven’t really worried that you would.” 

Geralt still looks torn, leaning into Jaskier’s hand on his face, “I’m sorry, I won’t ever hit you again. I decided that twenty years ago. But this,” He tilts his head at Jaskier’s arm, “I can’t promise this will never happen again. It was an accident, so I need you to tell me if I’m hurting you. I really don’t want to hurt you again.” Geralt reaches a hand up to Jaskier’s face, leaning forward so that their foreheads are touching.

Jaskier nods his agreement as the intimacy of their position dawns on him. There is hardly any space between them, and Geralt’s mouth is so close to his that he only needs to go forward a few inches and they would be-

Jaskier clears his throat and goes to pull away, but Geralt holds him still.

Jaskier lets out a nervous laugh, “Um, Geralt?” He looks back into Geralt’s eyes, he can feel the hand on his face move to the back of his head and tangle in his hair.

“Jaskier,” Geralt whispers as he leans in to close the distance between them, and Jaskier can’t quite grasp what is happening as Geralt’s mouth finds his and fucking hell Geralt is kissing him. Jaskier instinctively responds, having waited for this moment for the last twenty years. And it’s everything he imagined it would be, Geralt’s hand possessively gripping his hair, his mouth so hot and perfect against Jaskier’s own. 

It’s the perfect first kiss.

Which is why ending it is incredibly difficult.

“Geralt, no,” Jaskier pushes against Geralt’s chest, and Geralt gets the message and steps away to give Jaskier his space.

“What’s wrong?” Geralt doesn’t seem to know what to do with his arms now that Jaskier isn’t in them.

Jaskier crosses his arms over his chest and meets Geralt’s confused gaze. “I don’t want to be your second choice, Geralt. I’ve had to watch you yearn after Yennefer for fucking years, and now that she wants nothing to do with you, you suddenly want to fuck me? No, thank you. I do have some self respect left.” 

Geralt shakes his head as he takes a step toward Jaskier, “No, Jaskier, that's not-” He cuts himself off with a frustrated growl as he slowly reaches for Jaskier’s hand. Jaskier lets him take it. “You aren’t my second choice, things with Yennefer were complicated. I care for her, but it was never much more than sex. WIth you… I don’t know. I want to kiss you, and hold you, and listen to you sing,” Geralt is even closer now, a hand on the curve of Jaskier’s jaw while the hand holding Jaskier’s is brought up between their chests. “I’m sorry Jaskier, I should have kissed you years ago. I was afraid that if you were too close to me that you would be in danger,”

Jaskier narrows his eyes at that, “That is the stupidest fucking thing you have ever said,” 

Geralt winces, but nods. “I know, it was stupid. I realized that after…”

“After you told me that I’m the worst thing that ever happened to you?”

“I did not say that.”

“You basically did,” Jaskier hopes his smile is enough to tell Geralt that he isn’t trying to make him feel bad.

“I’m sorry,” 

“I forgive you,” Jaskier squeezes Geralt's hand, and kisses him again.

Geralt smiles at him as they part, and leans down to kiss him again. Jaskier allows it, but pulls away after a few moments. Jaskier pulls Geralt down to sit against the cave wall and leans his head on Geralt’s shoulder. Geralt wraps his arm around him, and Jaskier smiles to himself.

“Get some rest, I’ll wake you up when the rain stops,” 

Jaskier doesn’t argue, he is kind of tired. And he has such a wonderful pillow.

**Author's Note:**

> I know this has been done a hundred times before or more, but here is my take on how it could go. I wasn't really planning on writing this, I just wanted to write something because I've been wanting to for years and I finally sat down last night and just did it. I've tried a few times before to write a fanfic but I've never had the courage to post, but no one that reads this will know who I am so I guess I won't be too embarrassed if people tell me I can't write for shit. So I might as well try it right?


End file.
